15 January 2011 @ 12:23 am
[Video] (Dated to after everything is over)  
[The Doctor is sitting against his TARDIS cross-legged. The journal is positioned in sort of an upshot as it's propped on his legs. His hat is off. Actually, he lost it in the hall, his umbrella too. No idea where they are. He might have the TARDIS make another. Right now, he's just sitting and holding a little plush animal. It looks like a baby toy, and resembles a bear with sabertooth fangs. It's actually a sehlat, but he doesn't know what in the cosmos it could be.

He still hurts, but he's been with the old girl long enough that most of the damage is sorted out.]

I thought... maybe, with my end, the worst of my actions would go with me. I didn't want to think they would carry on. [He turns the toy over to look at it's little nubby tail. For a moment, beady stuffed animal eyes and nose fill the screen, before he moves it away again.] I suppose we all have our nasty and unfortunate sides. Just as every one ought to have a good one.

For those of you I've not introduced myself to, I'm Dr. John Smith. [This time, he just leaves "the Doctor" off. He's obviously bothered at the moment, in a distant sort of way.] I can't guarantee you I'll do the right thing all the time. I'm far from perfect, but I'll make the attempt. [He sort of chuckles awkwardly to himself.] As if they need to be told that I'm not perfect. [He mutters this to the stuffed whatever, and he shakes his head and the bit of smile wanes.] I'd like to thank Billy for lending me a hand in the hallway. Quite noble of him. When I'm done here... I was wondering if there was someone that could point me in the direction of a little patch of sky where a weary old Time Lord might roam for the rest of his regeneration. It's an impossibility to return to my own universe without upsetting the balance and I'd like to have a distant shore that I could explore.

[He holds the stuffed animal up closer to his face.] I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to be. The TARDIS left it on the console. [He's more than a bit distracted and admittedly all over the place. Being thrown into walls by everything he ever feared about himself can do that to you.]

[Private to Rex and Tim]

I'm not leaving you. I simply need to know where I can go when it comes time for you to leave me.

[Private to the Infirmary]

I apologize for being absent for a bit. I did something very unintelligent. I'll make it up to you tomorrow when I'm better fit to move about.
 
 
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championoftime: 7 - do tell?[personal profile] championoftime on January 15th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
A sehlat? [Carefully pronounced. He looks at it again.] You're familiar with them?
T'Pol: I do not have feelings for him stfu.[personal profile] with_discipline on January 15th, 2011 02:48 pm (UTC)
They're native to Vulcan. Most live in the deserts. That one, I assume, is meant to be a domesticated sehlat.
championoftime: 7 - what do you suppose that is[personal profile] championoftime on January 15th, 2011 02:55 pm (UTC)
Then I suppose it's meant for you. [Then slowly, his mind starts percolating over little tidbits. Things he'd discussed with her before when she wasn't herself.

Oh.

He stares blankly as it settles, and then mentally scrambles for some way to approach the inquiry without seeming to intrusively rude. Probably impossible, with Vulcans.] You should come and get it then. She would prefer you have it.
T'Pol: This'll break your heart[personal profile] with_discipline on January 15th, 2011 03:02 pm (UTC)
[Very close to impossible, at least. T'Pol really doesn't want to go get it, but...well. She doesn't particularly want to raise questions, either.] Very well. She can create such things, whenever she wants? [Maybe linking with the TARDIS had been a poor decision.]
championoftime: 7 - crosslegged[personal profile] championoftime on January 15th, 2011 03:14 pm (UTC)
She does. She often leaves breakfast foods of preference of my regular traveling companions in the pantries, even if they never eat there. She must have been triggered by my current state to produce something. [He gives her a slight shrug.]

[Private]

She was a mother once. She mad toys for her offspring.
T'Pol: Vulcan angst. Subtle.[personal profile] with_discipline on January 15th, 2011 05:31 pm (UTC)
[Private]
The history of the woman from the carnival is not my own, Doctor.
championoftime: 7 - tietug[personal profile] championoftime on January 16th, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
[Private] "E", why you gotta fall off where you're important.
Of course not. But we remember those histories nonetheless. I still treat Tim with a similar affection that I had for him in that reality.

It could still be on your mind, even if you've separated yourself from it.
T'Pol: Come back[personal profile] with_discipline on January 16th, 2011 04:53 pm (UTC)
[Private] It likes to mess with you. :c
[A short pause.] I knew Elizabeth existed for less than seventy-two hours.

[And another pause, because she can't bring herself to say much about this.] I'll come collect the toy.
championoftime: 7 - in the dark[personal profile] championoftime on January 16th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC)
[Private] Why it gotta fall off some words and appear on other words it don't belong on like that!?
[He feels for here. He supposes she's feeling more for herself than she's letting on.] I was a father once myself. The loss never gets any easier.

I'll be here.
T'Pol: Meditation is how I cope with your shit[personal profile] with_discipline on January 16th, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
[Spam?] I think it's leading the revolt on my keyboard. Maybe it chatted up yours, too. :|
[She can't really bring herself to answer that while maintaining her admittedly tentative control, so she's just heading for the Doctor's room instead, and when she knocks at his door, her face is very carefully blank.]
championoftime: 7 - deep in thought[personal profile] championoftime on January 16th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)
[Spam]
It's open! [He's resumed his place by the TARDIS. The old girl is more comfortable than anywhere else. Really, it would be best to be inside of her, but he had matters to attend to today.

He now has a kettle of tea beside of him, and the sehlat plush.] Sit with me for a moment, please?
T'Pol: I'm listening. Really.[personal profile] with_discipline on January 16th, 2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
[Spam]
[Entering, it only took a moment for her eyes to settle on him. The scent of tea greeted her faster, and she felt an illogical tightening in her stomach. She considered declining, but considered it would be the kinder thing to indulge him, given the Doctor's health. Times like these, she wished she had never ruined her control; most Vuclans wouldn't consider the kinder thing.] Very well.

[She walked in, closing the door behind her, and sat across from the Doctor. For a moment, she looked at the sehlat; then she lifted her attention to Seven again, arching an eyebrow.]
championoftime: 7 - quiet[personal profile] championoftime on January 17th, 2011 12:15 am (UTC)
[Spam]
Cups are in the cabinet, if you wouldn't mind getting one? [He offered with a quick smile. Because tea was good for settling the mind.]
T'Pol: I do not have feelings for him stfu.[personal profile] with_discipline on January 17th, 2011 12:21 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[She'd have to stay, then, and again considered declining; but instead she stood to get them both mugs, returning with them and sitting again.]
championoftime: 7 - enjoying his coffee[personal profile] championoftime on January 17th, 2011 12:41 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[He waited until settled before pouring them both mugs.] To understand an emotion is to a control an emotion, whether you choose to experience it or disregard it. Being of a species that becomes far too emotional, I'm well acquainted with the concept.
T'Pol: What are you even feeding that thing[personal profile] with_discipline on January 17th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[She watched him pour rather than meet his eyes at first.] Indeed, [she said, though it sounded a lot more like she was asking what his point was.]
championoftime: 7 - pine and ponder[personal profile] championoftime on January 17th, 2011 04:46 am (UTC)
[Spam]
And it's enough of a concern that when mentioned, causes obvious discomfort. So tell me about those short hours. [He offered her the cup.] The parts that make her memory pleasant first.
T'Pol: Loss is too acute[personal profile] with_discipline on January 17th, 2011 05:03 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[Instinct told her to walk out; but listening to this particular instinct was illogical. Forcing herself to take the cup, T'Pol stared at him for a moment, hands curling around the mug.]

At a conference on Earth, almost a year ago, an injured woman gave me a vial containing a hair follicle. From that, our doctor was able to discern that it belonged to a child who shared my DNA, and [She wasn't sure just how much she wanted to confide, but omission had had its flaws in the past, so after a pause, she continued.] Commander Tucker's. She was created as a symbol for a xenophobic faction called Terra Prime. It was almost a day before I was able to see her.

[She left out the fact that she'd known the child was hers well before that, left out the mental link that had asserted itself in that time.] We were able to rescue her from the faction, but the process they used to create her was flawed. She died on Enterprise.

[She managed to say it evenly, though her throat grew tighter and tighter and her last word nearly cracked. It was like all the air had rushed from her lungs, and she fell silent.]


Edited 2011-01-17 05:07 am (UTC)
championoftime: 7 - sneak?[personal profile] championoftime on January 17th, 2011 05:15 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[He listened intently as she told him about the conference. He recalled Commander Tucker from his arrival. That was a sad thing about xenophobia. He would have liked to have great-grandchildren that weren't adopted, actually. Susan would have deserved to have her own, but he was certain many Time Lords would be appalled at the idea.

He leaned forward despite the sharp pain that it sent up his back, looking interested.] Take a drink... Slowly. And then tell me more. Commander Tucker. I believe I recall him from our- you call it a mindmeld. He knew of the girl too and approved of her equally?
T'Pol: Withdrawal sucks hard.[personal profile] with_discipline on January 17th, 2011 05:39 am (UTC)
Re: [Spam]
[She didn't want to take a drink, but it was a fair suggestion, and after a moment, she lifted the mug to her lips and drank. It loosened her throat, if nothing else. She nodded.]

Yes. [She didn't mention that he'd doubted her; she'd seen his reaction, when they'd found Elizabeth.] He cared deeply for her. [Watching him cry in her quarters had been more than enough proof for her.] We both tried to infiltrate Terra Prime to save her.
championoftime: 7 - melancholy[personal profile] championoftime on January 18th, 2011 01:47 am (UTC)
[Spam]
Have you discussed the matter with him, since? ...As he's here, and it seems like perhaps it would be something he would feel strongly about as well.
T'Pol: Pretending this isn't awkward[personal profile] with_discipline on January 18th, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[She shook her head, then dropped her eyes to the mug.] He's nearly a year behind me. As far as he's concerned, we just buried her. I'd rather not put him though it again so soon. [Even if she kind of needs to.]
championoftime[personal profile] championoftime on January 18th, 2011 02:52 am (UTC)
[Spam]
Even if it's fresh in his mind, it doesn't change it's value to him or his value to you. And if he's truly a worthwhile mate, it's in his better interests as well.

[He purses his lips tightly.] And I can verify to you... you could wait for perhaps decades, and the discomfort would not ebb for him. The empty space always remains.
T'Pol: I'm about to make a big fucking mistake[personal profile] with_discipline on January 18th, 2011 03:05 am (UTC)
[Spam]
[She only vaguely remembers what things were like before the Admiral honored her deal to bring Trip back; the sense of missing him is still there if she digs for it, even after all that time. It's uncomfortable.]

I've had a year. He's had considerably less time to deal with the loss. I don't-- [She pauses again, because she's fairly certain that if Soval were here, he'd disapprove of how human she sounds.] I've decided it's better to let him come to terms with it on his own.
championoftime: 7 - always looking upwards[personal profile] championoftime on January 18th, 2011 03:15 am (UTC)
[Spam]
Even if the possibility of trying again were presented to you, with greater security of success? [He tipped his head.] A proper genesmith would have little difficulty in arranging such a union. I wish my granddaughter had that option. Both of her children with a human were adopted.
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