Doctor, if you're going to be that sensitive about sabotaged projects, how are you going to achieve anything?

Perhaps next time you should lock your doors?

I did lock my door.

And I'm quite sensitive about wasting time. There's very little of it left for me and I would like to do the most I can with it.

Well, that might limit the number of suspects.

Of course, it would do you little good to realise that perhaps they had good reason to do so... Morgan's arguments aside (I believe them irrelevant and insulting), that project would create such a spate of homesickness on the Barge that morale would plummet, at least long term. And frankly, we're hardly the good ship Lollipop.

Or it was 'act of flood'.

If it makes you feel better.

You would suggest that there's morale as it is. It was plummeting long before I made any attempts to rectify or otherwise affect anything.

There is morale, it's low, but it can get lower, don't kid yourself. And if I objected to your efforts, I would have made that known.

I just wish I knew who did it. I don't like the idea of someone coming into my room...

Your door was locked, was it?

What was the project for?

I was attempting to make a particular sort of chip for a cellular phone. A young lady had one that a future self of mine had made that was allowing her to call her mother off Barge.

The inmates became convinced this was a purposeful lording of technology over their heads, so I just wanted to create something to eventually give them the chance to use, too, because I don't like making them feel like second class citizens. I do want to help them. And some of the wardens wanted at least that one last chance to talk to their families. If I did it once later, I could do it again now I assumed...

It doesn't matter, now, I suppose. I apologize for the secrecy, I simply don't want them harassing the young woman with the phone again. I suppose everyone will be so pleased at my failure they won't even investigate who broke into my room.

Why can't you try again?

I could, but I know it would be broken and many of these parts were supplied by other people. It's only polite to offer them back.

I suppose if no one wants them back I'll attempt to fix it in secrecy. I won't be able to ask for assistance with it, but at least I can work on it between other things.

I can't say I'm surprised. This whole place seems designed to make the inhabitants miserable. Rassilon forbid anyone should be allowed a modicum of hope.

You can keep the microprocessors I donated. If I need spare parts later...well, it seems there's little shortage of broken things on this ship.

[Private]

If you'd like, I can start a quiet investigation, see if I can find out who did it. I need a distraction.

I would appreciate that, actually. Unquestionably.

Can you tell me approximately when it happened? Give me a time range? I can start with finding out who had opportunity.

The only times that I was out of my room was between 2:00 and 7:00 Barge time. Overnight I did retreat into the TARDIS, however, to conduct some personal work. That wasn't broken into.

Poor you.

I would almost think it were you, but I have to assume rather than the petty annoyance of morale you would much rather terrorize the Barge at large.

Morale is never petty, don't worry Doctor, you're special to me.

I'm glad that I still hold a number on your dance card. I was thinking that you had forgotten me.

Forget you? As if I could.

It wasn't me, you know.

What?! Of course it wasn't you. You like the things I build. I wouldn't... expect you to smash it like a common roughian.

[He sighs, though.] Speaking of which, I came across an old invention of mine. You can have it if you want it. You might be more attentive to it, anyway.

Do you have any idea who it could be?

An invention?

No, but Narvin said he would investigate. The CIA are notorious bastards but at least they're usually quite effective in digging up the truth.

It's a mechanical snake with a simple AI. I remembered it last night when I was working and it attempted to crawl up my vest. I left it in my pocket for longer than I legitimately should have been allowed.

CIA? I didn't think we had any agents on board.

... [EEEEEE] How sophisticated is the intelligence?

Celestial Intervention Agency. A Time Lord organization of particularly ruthless individuals.

It's on par with your average constrictor, though it much resembles a garden snake.

Certainly fond of the lofty names, aren't they. [Says the self-proclaimed COBRA COMMANDER.]

That sounds fascinating. I'd like to see it.

You can come and take it if you like. It's quite affectionate.

Well, if you insist... [And by that he means: YES I AM TAKING IT NOW NOW NOW.]

That is very wrong.

It could have been someone genuinely hostile, and I despise violence.

I am very sorry to hear that violence visited your private space.

We do have some neanderthals on board.

What?! But after having come so far with it...

I suppose, under the circumstances, I can take back the microprocessor I lent. Seems only right to put it to use elsewhere.

[Private]

Do you have any thoughts on who could have done it?