championoftime (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
championoftime) wrote2012-02-08 10:06 pm
championoftime) wrote2012-02-08 10:06 pm
[Audio]
[Public]
[The Doctor is pointedly going to ignore the sex sounding things going on.]
Dallas Winston, by the by, has departed the Barge. [And likely went back to being a ghost, according to what he heard last. He's been gone for a while, he just hasn't wanted to talk about it. He never likes talking about people leaving.] He was a good lad.
Mark Hoffman mentioned... a lack of good stories to be told. I'd like to hear a few if you have them. They needn't be about an occupation. Just good stories. Or good experiences, if you're willing to share.
[The Doctor is pointedly going to ignore the sex sounding things going on.]
Dallas Winston, by the by, has departed the Barge. [And likely went back to being a ghost, according to what he heard last. He's been gone for a while, he just hasn't wanted to talk about it. He never likes talking about people leaving.] He was a good lad.
Mark Hoffman mentioned... a lack of good stories to be told. I'd like to hear a few if you have them. They needn't be about an occupation. Just good stories. Or good experiences, if you're willing to share.
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[There's a long, silent pause.]
I know it happened during everything that fucked me up. I don't need to hear it from anyone because I don't care.
...I was building a trap I'd designed. This was way back, just after John had taught me the basics. He wanted to see how I applied them.
It was called the "Addict's Chair," the thing I was making. A two-person trap, with one chair saved for a drug addict. It involved two different poisons, and antidotes for each being mixed mechanically--whatever, it's not like anybody cares about the details. We never got a chance to use it, anyway.
I was constructing the inner workings of the distributor machine, and I was getting frustrated because no matter what I did, I couldn't get one piece to socket into the other. I was on the verge of crying. I didn't want to disappoint him. Just when I was about to break down, he came up right behind me, placed his hands over mine, and turned the right one so, so slightly. The pieces fit into place. I'd just been holding one of them at the wrong angle. Only four fuckin' degrees off, can you believe that?
He must have known what I was thinking from my body language or something. He said I had natural talent, and if I stopped worrying about letting him down, it would emerge. His hands on mine, and those words--I just felt so...
I felt loved.
I know it's small, and probably insignificant to people who didn't lead the kind of life I did before I joined him, but it was so important to me. Still is, in some ways.
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That people aren't frequently told that they have talent or ability. That they don't receive that guiding hand when they need it, and because of that so many people turn to any other sense of support they can find.
I do hope that once you have your deal, his hands will guide to a better resolution for someone.
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Once I erase that night from history, and eliminate his cancer, he'll have his life back.
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Why didn't you two use it?
I didn't know you built that thing.
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I didn't know that.
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[Most weren't used, even though they were good, because they weren't designed with specific test subjects in mind. It was really a teaching and bonding thing.]
...the time he became too weak to concentrate on them.
[And she hadn't wanted to finish them on her own, as they had SHARED them and she felt that would cheapen them.]
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[Hoffman is thinking of things. Not angry at all, just...quiet.]
...I envy that.
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[She has a thoughtful moment of her own.]
It's still for the best that he and Jill won't remember any of it when I get my deal.
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...That's your deal? Fix everything?
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[Basically her deal requires erasing John's and Jill's memories of being with and loving her. She looks pained.]
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He looks incredibly conflicted for a moment before a knowing look sets into his expression.]
...Erasing Everything.
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[As far as she's concerned, right now, that means she won't.]
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[He keeps going back to erasing Jigsaw's crimes. Which means that if history continued-he was a lone nut. A monster.
Unless he does something about it-but that's far off. So he's just quiet.]
Everyone. Easton. Simone maybe. All the Victims.
My squad.
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[Her tone suggests that in many cases--like Matthews, Xavier, Easton, and even more--it will be for the worse. But that's a result she can't avoid.]
None of their endings will be happy. Their lives and their crimes will continue as if they were never tested. That includes your squad--they'll keep hurting people.
[Some of his peers were criminals too, whether he wants to accept it or not. She sounds on the verge of tears, her voice thick.]
I can only right so many wrongs with one deal, and I had to choose. I couldn't rehabilitate them. I couldn't even change Matthews and fix my past if I wanted to do right by John and Jill.
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[It's all his fault but whatever. He really screwed with his guys.]
So you couldn't have fixed him even if you wanted to. [There is a brief flash of a nasty look] At least you didn't erase me.
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I chose John, Jill and Gideon, and I don't regret that.
[This is seriously the first time she's been able to say that name to Hoffman.]
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He made a lot of progress in his post but not enough to see that what she's doing is the same thing his friends-his friend Rigg-his friend Tapp-the same thing they were doing. Their lives for another. Their honor for another.]
...What will you do?
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[And that's the complete truth.]
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...You would have saved Eric? you actually thought about that?
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[That was her motivation. Not for Eric's sake at all.]
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you should go to Tibet and start a new religion or something .
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