championoftime | [Audio]

[Filtered to Family, Fake Family, and Self]

[There's clattering. He's fixing some of the things that are broken around his room.] I've never taken well to being left behind. Sometimes I know it's for the best, but it still wears at me. Especially if I know I didn't want to leave, or I felt like I failed someone.

That's how these absences are leaving me feeling. As if these people have been stripped away. It's also frightening. This body I'm in... it's clumsy, awkward, weak, practically negligible in a conflict. It can manage some swordplay and trickery, a few good games of cricket. But it can barely take a blow without rendering me unconscious.

...I'm not done with it, though. As lamentable an admission that is. I know I'm about to regenerate, and if I'm abruptly returned, I won't be me any more. I'll- honestly, I believe I'm turning into what Benny always wanted, rather than what I am properly. This current body, though, was forged out of a tight friendship I had with another companion. Melanie Bush, who also had a particular knack for turning toward the troubled and ill-tempered and searching for the best in them.

And she was a person that I met before I met her. At my own trial, where Mel was forced to take the stand and speak about me and I hadn't a clue who she was at the time.

Everything is all out of order and wrong. My last memories of Sexby [clang clang clang] relate to the battering of the Marquis, and his poor reasoning behind his actions. Memories of what is now his future. Yet here he is, supposedly being redeemed though obviously that rampant hostility won't be completely wrung from his system. ["R"s. All of the "r"s are happening.

There's a slump. And a rustle of cloth. He's sitting.] I want to make a counselling centre as a part of the infirmary, but perhaps I'm in need of my own reassurance that we're doing the right thing. That for the greater good, we are doing what is necessary. That it's worth it, for them to be trapped here, for my inmate to be trapped here, and be given and stripped of the people that he loves. Watching good women ruin themselves, because they keep losing people.

[He's rambling. Really... he just wanted someone to talk to.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It is worth it. It sucks to be here sometimes, and I miss the people who've left, but I'm glad I came. I do believe we can do good here, it's just hard to see it sometimes.

And I do think Costigan changed because he was here. I don't... know if I believe them? But Arthur and Martha think he might be okay, after what happened here. And even if they're wrong, I'm still here and I can do something about it. So, I think we can make a difference, and it's worth it.

I do hope so.

The principal behind it is sound. I approve of trying to give someone another lease on life, a chance to correct their mistakes and pursue their advantages with greater earnest.

It is quite possible he did. Even Narvin, who was dead, left and returned alive from a different scenario.

I really hope so. He deserved so much better then what he got out of life.

A counseling center sounds like a good idea.

I spoke with Arkady about it. If I can find at least one other person to assist it would help a lot. They need not be trained therapists- more like those individuals that assist with help lines. We could train them.

I know that we need something, because the destructive nature aboard is practically palpable.

I guess I could give it a shot. I'm just not sure how helpful I'd be.

Listening alone seems to do wonders. Giving people outlets for their frustration.

You certainly help me.

I'm glad to hear it. You've taken really good care of Tim and I here, and I'm always happy to return the favor. [ilu Barge!Alfred. c:]

I should ask Tim how he feels with Sylar's graduation.

I think he's really proud of him.

I suppose that's verification enough that we're doing the appropriate thing.

I really think we are. Even if it only helps one person? It's worth it.

At least Sexby seemed less prone to murder when he comes later before.

I won't lie, I don't understand the logic on that one at all.

It's a bit like having a witness at your trial that you've not yet encountered.

...My outfit was sillier then.

[HOW DO YOU EVEN but it's true.]

What?

I want to do the counselling center. I believe it will help. However, we've lost two doctors in a week, Doctor. and now I don't know if I'm going to be able to devout as much time to this as I'd like.

But I agree on this week. The Barge feels like it's changed and I don't like it.

We're not here for our benefit, Doctor. It's all for them.

Want some company?

That's what concerns me. Not that we're doing it for their benefit, but for some of them it seems to make it worse.

That you graduated Sylar does help a bit.

Not right now, I'm afraid. I'm still correcting my mess.

Sometimes, people are going to clash, and since it's all arbitrary, it would be stupid to blame ourselves. Not meshing with one inmate doesn't mean it's a bad idea to be here, trying.

It's not that. It's that my inmate just watched the boy that he cares about vanish for the second time, and to a death that's continually haunted him. It's the source of Sexby's most recent foolishness as well.

That's what the losses do to people. And they've no control over it.

[Ahahah now to pretend he didn't try to kill his father's murderer. Whoo.]

I know. It's something they have to figure out how to deal with.

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