championoftime | [Audio]

[Audio]

[Private to the Marquis]

[Backdated to this.] I do hope you like games of hide and go seek because I'm going to come and find you and relentlessly annoy you until you're prepared to return to the infirmary. Trust me. It's within my capacities and I have centuries of experience at being a bother.

[Private to Frances]

Might I ask how he is? [He assumes she'll know who he's talking about.]

[Private to the Batfam | Younger Self | Braxiatel]

It's been a long time since I've been well equipped to advise people in matters of love. I swore it off for the good of anyone I might become attached to. For the very good of the universe.

So I was wondering what your last experience was in having feelings for two people. [Why is he asking himself this? His perspective changes per regeneration. He doesn't remember like he used to.] No insinuations of anything physical. Heavens no. Just ah... I'm curious about the experience.

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[...welp.]

To be quite frank, I'm fairly certain that has never occurred to me. [It's unusual enough for it to happen for one person. Two at the same time is unheard of.]

Never once? Not even a, "Oh, I'm quite fond of this person, but I'm also quite fond of this person that the other person doesn't get along with?"

[The inner workings of Braxiatel's mind are mysteries bound up in ping pong balls. He never knows what to expect. Most of the time.]

Not really, though I imagine I'd convince them to take after each other in that case. [That's a valid reason to manipulate people, right? Right.]

[You are a strange cookie, Braxiatel.] If they didn't get along? You would get them to take after each other? Your sense of romance [such an "R" roll] is boggling.

Someone else then. Surely you've known someone to have feelings for two different people. Even if you've destroyed all documented cases of you being young and stupid I'm sure that you've experience with people that have been.

If you can get them to get along, indeed, to even care for each other, then one no longer needs to choose. [Threesomes are always the solution.]

There is the Greek tragedy Bernice calls her love life. The usual tactic there seems to be 'pair the spares,' as it were. If one of the trio can pair off with an outsider, it makes the choice much simpler.

I'll pass that along. The ah... particular subject I'm wishing to advise needs to be more adept at manipulation that doesn't involve technology to pull that off. [Making love instead of war is okay with him. Just as long as he doesn't have to be the one making it.]

Is it now? The last I knew of her was her marriage. I don't know much beyond that.

['Manipulation that doesn't involve technology' - wait. Rex? Rex is in a love triangle?

No, Brax is deciding that he doesn't want to know.]

There was the matter with Adrian, and her divorce from Jason of course, Peter's birth, an assortment of bad choices in men, many of whom were in fact trying to kill her or use her for some sort of ancient artefact, and then there was Beverly and Bernice's absurd jealousy. It was truly not the sort of mess I was interested in involving myself in.

...When did Beverly become involved and where? That's what I get for going and dying. I start kissing people and Beverly starts doing things and Bernice has children I'm not even aware of.

[Sound of a hair scruffle.] To the last of your memory, was it ever resolved?

I believe Adrian proposed to Beverly, and Jason and Bernice were considering remarriage.

So obviously one can't be left alone. [That's something to bring up, but he has no idea who Iago could be fixed up with at this point, considering that display. Hell, Iago's probably better off alone.]

Something to think about anyway. Thank you. [If only he knew.]

One comment: I suspect many of our number here on the Barge aren't romantically successful. You may be drawing from the wrong sample group.

True, but you were the only ones that I felt comfortable asking.

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